Hey man, where's yer daddy now

Holee crap! My dream was very weird and cool and exciting and this morning I remembered it in perfect clarity, but it's bedtime now and I realize I only remember the last part of it... shucks!

Because I was stressed out over holiday homework, I had a dream my art history teacher assigned a whole bunch of stuff to do. On the first day of the holidays, we were supposed to (on our own time) summon a great white cloud to take us to animation heaven for a visit! So I did all the spells correctly and, lo and behold, the cloud appeared before me like out of some Nintendo video game, and I was whisked into the sky for a field trip of... well I guess wherever it is cartoons are made, because it was just like a caricature of heaven, except with all these little anime people running around and stuff. And it was so fun I completely forgot to write the essay about it.

For the next assignment, we were supposed to spend five hours in a scheduled, interactive virtual reality database thingie. It ended up being kind of like laser tag, except I missed the scheduled time, and because I was late, I lost the game and failed the grade. Afterwards, I went to a gas station to find a drink to drown my sorrows in, and I recognized the cashier as one of my classmates from middle school. I learned she was a magical stripper witch, and some later stuff ensued like us being turned into Barbie dolls, and there was your typical flying and falling and then waking up wishing you could remember it forever. But then I had breakfast and it completely evaporated with the coffee.

The kind of dreams I hate most

Weird, abstract, cliche nightmares? Well, since SOME people haven't updated since August, I'll post extra because I'm bored...;p

In this dream, I was walking through Richmond at night and it was pitch black, due to a power outage. I heard a little boy crying 'Mamma, mamma!' and distantly there was a woman's voice yelling at him to come home. He followed her voice and got home, and I was alone on the street again. I started kicking around the orange leaves on the ground, and discovered that they left a trail of orange glow where I had kicked them. So I kicked my way around the city with a path of orange glow behind me.

Next I was sinking, like I was in a bath tub. I almost think I was in a giant tray of developer fluid, but that seems kind of silly and obvious because of my darkroom problems. I remember splashing around and getting the icky water all in my mouth and eyes, which is kind of funny because today my left eye has been sore and red.

After that is still very fuzzy, but after the sinking I had kind of a nightmare. I was dreaming about weird, alien animals, but they were all dead or dying because they had been violently tortured. There was one creature huddled under a disgusting, gory bush, and when I got closer it ran off (its hind legs were backwards, and its neck was long, and its face was roughly diamond shaped). Where the animal had been was some rotting carcass of a cat it had been eating. Gross. Lovecraftian.

Then my vision in the dream started getting really grainy and dotty, as if the resolution was shrinking fast, and suddenly everything was nothing but noise and dots. That might have been a point where I was waking up a little, but I went back to sleep. Much much later I remember being home again, but it was so different, and all my friends were sitting on the couch and I wanted to squeeze in but for some reason I just stood back and laughed like it was all a big party. What followed was very, very emo, and I'll spare you the specifics.

I've had a really fierce headache all week, so I guess it's no surprise I'd have some achey dreams. Just out of curiousity's sake, who actually checks this on a regular basis?

Free Martha Stewart

I recently had a funny dream (another naptime one, those are the most restful I think) in which the later part of it involved meeting Martha Stewart at a party. I was in the green room of some kind of fancy event, the specifics of which are unclear or completely forgotten. So I was hanging out at the punch bowl and scoping the sea of celebrities, most of them musicians or such. Then Martha Stewart, who seemed a little tipsy, came up to me and started telling me her life story.

So the rest of the dream told like one of those made-for-TV biographical movies, about Martha Stewart. It was like she was a rock star. It started out with her in the beginning, touring with some close friends in an old van, and then as she got more successful the tour buses got bigger and the entourage got noisier. There was this one part where she was with her old mates and they all got drunk at a rest stop and decided to explore some sewers, and then one of them got killed, and it scarred her life forever. She was suddenly on some highway of self destruction, and she did all these drugs and all kinds of classic crazy rock star shit.

Martha fucking Stewart. Haha.