An old dream journal entry
Speaking of essays, check out this journal entry from my fall semester class. It's loosely based on a dream that I elaborated on for my and my teacher's entertainment. Enjoy!
The Ugly American (ized) Roommate: Reminiscence of Puddn’head Wilson
My roommates are really good people. I live with three foreign exchange students: a Romanian, a Bulgarian, and a Japanese guy (I know, it sounds like the opener for a joke or something). My roommates often ask if they can use my computer. Since no one has a computer and I trust them very much, I let them all use it. I’ve recently left some money in my drawer and when I checked on it later, it was gone.
Now this was about $200 in birthday money, and it didn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out what had happened. So I called out all my roommates into the living room and lined ‘em up. I said to them “alright guys, I had some money hidden in my desk and now it’s gone. So here’s what I’m gonna do,” I said in a practiced tone, “you give me the money now and I won’t report you guys to international services.”
Unknowing of my empty threat one of them said “c’mon, we didn’t even know you had any money in your desk” one of them said. I smirked at him suddenly “A-HA, then how did you know it was in the desk, hmm?”
To which he replied “uh…you just told us when you said you had money in your desk and now it’s gone…”
“ENOUGH, FOOL! QUIT STALLING!! Now someone in here is a thief. Who dunnit?!”
And I, playing the role of a British officer during the War of 1812, heavily impressed each one as if he were an American sailor. After no one responded I said “ok then, I’ll give 30 seconds for the guilty person to fess up then I’ll report all of you as culprits of the crime, and you know they’d believe me too….” With this I pulled out my pocket-watch. I don’t really carry one around with me often, so I try to make it a point to show it off whenever I do. Suddenly all three of them fell to their knees as if about to pray to the porcelain goddess… but alas no one spewed. “Alright, at least I know why it was so hard to get an answer before. So ok, cough it up now, all 200 dollars…down to the VERY LAST CENT!” I said accenting the last three words with my fist.
“Uh, we…” a long pause inadvertently ensued.
“Well?” I asked rather impatiently
“We ate it.”
“What the hell?! You ATE it? The money?”
They looked at each other nodding and said “We realized it’s eventually gonna end up there anyway, if we’re good consumers, so why not just eat it?” To this I could find no response. Who’d ever heard of eating money, anyway?
Suddenly the thought of so many people eating dozens of dollar bills rushed into my mind. And not just eating money either but smoking money (for instead of tobacco or any other controlled substance, it was shredded money), pumping cars full of money, and yes putting their money away into money wallets. Money, money, money all around me! I imagined myself eating a salad, heavily doused in olive oil just the way I like it, only to soon look down to find that what I was so dearly enjoying was indeed my money.
With a whimper at the sight I woke up hastily. Still gasping for air, and realizing where I was again, I rushed over to my desk and open the drawer to find my money, still intact!
Oh thank God, another dream! I thought, since it was not the first time that week a dream has gotten the best of me like that. Then I sagged down onto the chair with relief, cracked open my journal and began to write:
My roommates are really good people…
The Ugly American (ized) Roommate: Reminiscence of Puddn’head Wilson
My roommates are really good people. I live with three foreign exchange students: a Romanian, a Bulgarian, and a Japanese guy (I know, it sounds like the opener for a joke or something). My roommates often ask if they can use my computer. Since no one has a computer and I trust them very much, I let them all use it. I’ve recently left some money in my drawer and when I checked on it later, it was gone.
Now this was about $200 in birthday money, and it didn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out what had happened. So I called out all my roommates into the living room and lined ‘em up. I said to them “alright guys, I had some money hidden in my desk and now it’s gone. So here’s what I’m gonna do,” I said in a practiced tone, “you give me the money now and I won’t report you guys to international services.”
Unknowing of my empty threat one of them said “c’mon, we didn’t even know you had any money in your desk” one of them said. I smirked at him suddenly “A-HA, then how did you know it was in the desk, hmm?”
To which he replied “uh…you just told us when you said you had money in your desk and now it’s gone…”
“ENOUGH, FOOL! QUIT STALLING!! Now someone in here is a thief. Who dunnit?!”
And I, playing the role of a British officer during the War of 1812, heavily impressed each one as if he were an American sailor. After no one responded I said “ok then, I’ll give 30 seconds for the guilty person to fess up then I’ll report all of you as culprits of the crime, and you know they’d believe me too….” With this I pulled out my pocket-watch. I don’t really carry one around with me often, so I try to make it a point to show it off whenever I do. Suddenly all three of them fell to their knees as if about to pray to the porcelain goddess… but alas no one spewed. “Alright, at least I know why it was so hard to get an answer before. So ok, cough it up now, all 200 dollars…down to the VERY LAST CENT!” I said accenting the last three words with my fist.
“Uh, we…” a long pause inadvertently ensued.
“Well?” I asked rather impatiently
“We ate it.”
“What the hell?! You ATE it? The money?”
They looked at each other nodding and said “We realized it’s eventually gonna end up there anyway, if we’re good consumers, so why not just eat it?” To this I could find no response. Who’d ever heard of eating money, anyway?
Suddenly the thought of so many people eating dozens of dollar bills rushed into my mind. And not just eating money either but smoking money (for instead of tobacco or any other controlled substance, it was shredded money), pumping cars full of money, and yes putting their money away into money wallets. Money, money, money all around me! I imagined myself eating a salad, heavily doused in olive oil just the way I like it, only to soon look down to find that what I was so dearly enjoying was indeed my money.
With a whimper at the sight I woke up hastily. Still gasping for air, and realizing where I was again, I rushed over to my desk and open the drawer to find my money, still intact!
Oh thank God, another dream! I thought, since it was not the first time that week a dream has gotten the best of me like that. Then I sagged down onto the chair with relief, cracked open my journal and began to write:
My roommates are really good people…
posted by T at 2:25 PM
1 Comments:
It made me chuckle :D awesome dream
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